have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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