Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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