he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
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Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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