i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
