i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
