My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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