So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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