So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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