Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
