so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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