Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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