why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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