Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize