Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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