Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
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The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
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In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am