I can tuck mytits in my pants
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual