We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.