at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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