Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
