i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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