I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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