How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize