I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
