Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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