youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize