everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
this boner is exhausting
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize