Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
