Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she smelled like a LAN party
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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