i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
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Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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