She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
