oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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