That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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