i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
