So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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