dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize