I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.