I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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