note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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