I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
