Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
