come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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