Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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