I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
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Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
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She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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