So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Two words: blizzard sex
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
