it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize