you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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