I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
