Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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