your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The beer is more important than you right now.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize