he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize