I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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