today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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